The long awaited black and white

I cant tell you how many times I have tried to up load this picture on my site, every single time the computer sends me to the floor. This time I decided to fight back. I told that little technology snob that it wasnt the only computer around and he better start shaping up his performance because I had all my pictures backed up on a thumb drive. Being the hard cold piece of equiptment he is, DELL just hummed and clicked-so I took my blogging elsware. Call it computer adultary, because I am at my parents house utalizing thier connection and my pics load fine. I think I will send my computer an angry e-mail and tell him how happy I am with a different DELL.

fun pics

the firstborn
elijah and my middle child

middle again

ivan

hannah

in the car

We will be going on our 9 hour treck to camp soon. The house is mostly clean, the laundry is mostly done, the kids are mostly happy and me, I am mostly tired. but thought of 2 weeks of sunshine is greastly motivating. Our three children travel very well-allmost well enough to brag about. Oh yeah we have had our moments of full out caos in the back seat. Flailing arms, howeling mouths, and even wet carseats. If only they could be tought to scream in harmony. Isnt that a thought. The past years have brought vast improvments and in fact our last LOOONG car ride we only had one whimpering session from the middle child and he was asleep at the time. So I say, bring on the hours of endless highway! Lets go to CAMP!!!!!

remember when?

something about celebrating milestones, nastalgia and all that, convinced me to celebrate the fact I was a wrangler at trout creek bible camp 10 years ago. My camp name was Sweet Tart. All 10 weeks were jam packed with fun and crazy activitys. Daily trail rides through the woods, night time singing by the fire and the best part..desert after practically every meal. I would definatly choose to do it all over again. God moved my heart at TCBC, probubly the reason I want my kids to go there too someday. Perhaps its because I like to do out of the ordinary things.. but, Why would anyone want to stay home all summer and miss the adventure waiting for them?

this morning I awoke to a little boy giggling in his sleep. This woke me because he had been snuggled against me since about midnight. At times it would be nice to see inside other peoples dreams, this morning being one of them.
I was already awake enough to notice the uncomfortable 'need to pee' feeling so I decided to get up and go to the bathroom. (it was 4:30) The morning light was already streaming through my windows, The coloration of the room slightly changed by the kind of light it was portrayed by. Admittedly, I have always been more of a morning person and secretly I enjoy seeing the light come before the sun shows its face. (if it so chooses) there is a stillness in the morning, a peace. Everyone has their little patch of heaven on earth, mine is to revel in the birth of a new day.

keeping the sanity

most of you out there received or will receive a stimulus check to pay off debts, 'er stimulate the economy. Usually we use our tax return for the latter, paying off whatever medical bill or small debt we might have incurred over the last year. The stimulus check we chose to go a different rout. I told my husband that since Its not really money we thought we would have, it might as well be spent on "the economy." Together we bought a dishwasher since the last one died 8 months ago. My husband has wanted to build a car from scratch so he purchased a welder and the gear. ( I wont even try to tell you what else was involved, lets just categorize it welding stuff ) He was immensely happy with it. I myself have been a whittler of money. Its difficult to throw a large lump of cash at anything without months of contemplation. I decided to buy the things I had been mulling over for close to a year or two now.

1. a bike trailer
2. a zoo membership
3. the complete Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes collection

The temptation to take a year long writing class was oh so tempting, my sister-in-law has taken it and loved it...but I wasn't ready to blow my wad all at once..and the teacher they assigned me to...I just chose to give it a few more years of thought.

Yesterday was the first day I used the membership! My husband had to run to Portland, it was the incentive I needed- I have been working on sticking to my monthly gas quota-but since he was going anyway! VOILA! It was SO much fun, we did a couple of hours there. We hit our favorites, the polar bear, the monkey house, the river otter, the eagle, the petting zoo, the mountain lion and the Train. We also went to the Dino exhibit they have up for the summer! I wish I could post new pictures of it for you, but all my computer does is make me want to throw it out of the window!!! Its been a bit of a dinosaur itself. My youngest was defiantly not comfortable with the moving parts, but at the end of the day it was his favorite most talked about spot in the whole zoo.

How do all these things I bought help me keep my sanity?? Admittedly the Sherlock Holmes was purely for entertainment, but the bike trailer is getting me out of the house. Its more of a comfort being a woman alone on a bike instead of a woman walking alone. The zoo pass is 12 months worth of homeschooling Field-trip extravaganza! My parents did it for us and we never tired of going to see our favorite animals.

One of my very good friends acts in plays for her sanity break. It always does my heart good to see her up on stage doing what she loves

Its been my pleasure to know many of my mom friends on a different level than mothering. Plays, Horses, Writing, Gardening, Home health care, Scrap booking, Quilting, and whatever else. I am proud of my girls!

diamonds with never-ending facets.

homeschooling, I think?

My opinion on the subject is as follows. Through much deliberation and worry I decided to take on homeschooling my children. Its not a decision to be taken lightly or accepted as if you were deciding to buy a pair of new sox, no its somthing for me that has been hard to spit out in a normal conversation. Its an average question to recieve in a conversation with someone you might meet off the street. they see you have a 5 year old or older and ask "is she in school yet?" harmless, in fact that is what I ask others when I run out of anything else to say. they take my lead, they return the favor (when will I learn to stop talking?) and ask me the same. I have come up with a legitamate reason for homeschooling that most people can accept-it is in fact one of the reasons I chose to homeschool my children
reason #1- I travel between states alot and my children would be out of school for long periods of time. This would be highly detrimental to thier achievement.
the above reason is the most understood.
reason#2-at this point in thier learning development I can offer them more with one on one time than a teacher with 30 students can.
reason#3-I dont really agree with the principles they teach children to be tollerant of and accept. (you know what I mean)

the last reason on the list tends to be the most abrasive and offensive to people because they take it very personally-I honestly dont think all kids shuld be homeschooled and there are kids who do well in public school regardless of the circumstances. That is why I rarly ever bring this reason up. Im not ashamed of the moral reasons I am motivated by, just sensitave of feelings.

Homeschooling is hopfully not going to be forever, just for now untill a better option arises. I am going to order curriculam from the critical thinking company and set goals soon. The thing I am going to hammer out the most is a schedule so I can have consistancy and an idea of our progress. Truth- it scares me some still, but mostly I am excited for new books and the opportunity to refresh my memory.

deth and other possibilitys.

those of you who have read my blog on a regular basis might be thinking I had fallen off a cliff or possibly choked on something large, like my keyboard, but sadly I have none of those excuses. the truth is I have browsed past my blog spot and had those nagging thoughts most writers get when confronted with an actual project deadline. Fear of not being good enough. In a small way I relate my writers block to the strain they feel every time an incomplete project is picked up. guilt, inadequacy,perhaps even fear. Like many of those bloggerrs out there I find myself longing for more comments as i breeze past my page. Some people have even put in a sight counter to tell them how many hits their page has received. (I do think thats really cool!)
Isn't it insane the lengths we go to in order to feel accepted? I'm assuming its all in human nature or most likely a result of such. I yearned to be accepted by my peers only to realize If I was happy with who I was and felt confidant in most situations (or faked it really well) I could pass through the most difficult scenarios without blinking an eye. Do I measure my life by what others think? God made us to be unique, and arnt we?! but in the end, the longing comes back. Whats the answer? do we chase after people, seeking their approval? do we rely only on ourselves and become totally self sufficiant? hm mm. neither I think. Its crucial to have balance in our lives, from what we eat to how much we are on the Internet. My tightrope act as of late is getting past the fear of writing something totally useless- But you know what? I find the more I try the better it gets. plus needing acceptance is God given, Its just who we seek acceptance from.

all that to say, I'm back from holiday.