the ring of things

When I was young and had my first real crush, head over heels in like. So into him. And he moved away and used the mail to write me a dear jane letter. Shortly after, feeling very betrayed by a friend, I chose this for my life verse and even had it engraved on my class ring. That small fact had slipped my mind. Recently when playing with it, I discovered the writing and looked it up. Here it is for your enjoyment!

Psalm 55:12-16

If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; If a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God. Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the grave, for evil finds lodging among them. But I call to God, and the Lord saves me.

In truth I still find it an appropriate verse,...perhaps not something my entire life is molded around but a good reminder that God is truly the ONE who wont let me down.

late late late

this is last weeks writing assignment. as usual its barley even spell checked let alone proof read..bla d bla d bla..

It took me a week to clear my work schedule enough to roll my sleeves up and search in my mothers belongings for any clue of her past. The journal entry had left me such suspense my co-workers practically begged me to take vacation and clear out of their hair. My brightly colored vw was parked outside the care center my mother had spent her last days in and I summoned the courage to face my fears and fall headlong into the raw emotions left by my mothers departure. A tiny doubt of avoiding all tears wormed its way into my thoughts, I was after all still experiencing the ebb and flow of natures gift to middle age women, menopause.

" oh hello Mrs. Keller" the receptionist greeted me. The corner of her eyes held just a bit of sadness in them. "I figured you would come around for your mothers things eventually. We called several times before packing it up." another trace of sadness shadowed her as she explained the need for the space and the boxes awaiting me in the office.
I nodded and followed her in to fetch the neatly stacked cardboard lining the far wall. Truly I was grateful not to relive memories in such an open area.
My little car bogged down as I pulled up into my garage many hours later. It was late by the time I reached home, the garage light spilled out into the dark driveway.
"home. I'm so tired." I breathed out while grabbing one box for the house. "the rest of you can wait till morning" I said while jamming the hood down till it latched.
"George? George, did you miss me?" I questioned my massively overweight watchdog. His ebony eyes assured me of his diligent waiting at the window, his dogbowl still heaping with kibble."Shall we see what things mom ferreted away?" I asked him while absently setting the box on the coffee table. The table wobbled and the box flew to the floor, not even magic could have stopped it. George slunk away, thinking he was in trouble again for his past offences.I bent low and began scooping it up when my eyes came across one gold colored coin and a letter wrapped around it....

literary classic or fluff?

what is on your favorite book list? Are they classics or just for fun? here is my favorites reading list (favorites is a family word....its in the martin dictionary)

1. moby dick-young man stuck on a boat with psyco captian, what is not to like?
2. mysterious island-jewels vern was so ahaid of his time
3. the adventures of sherlock holmes...eerie and captivating
4. tarzan...yah I prietty much was in love with him
5. anything jane austin
6. the crimson tapestry, a little known book that mixes fantisy with history
7. the erigon trilliogy...except the elven parts, I had to skim through it
8. robin hood,.... so sad in the end
9. charley and the chocolate factory...hilarious political slamming
10. the three musketeers,..eons ago I read it, perhaps I will give it a go again

I like to read the fluffy stuff but sadly it usually lasts one 24 hour period before I have digested it and thrown it aside for something else. Like fast food. You like it, it tastes good and goes down fast,, but it leaves you just a bit unsatisfied and wanting more. Classics are those books which take a long time to get through, you have to chew them a bit before swallowing. If you eat to quickly you might miss the flavor and the point of reading it. I like both kinds and my diet is full of fluffy reading, its much easier to pick back up after several interruptions and understand it. I miss my classics though, they are my friends. The characters dance in my memory's whenever my eye passes their cover in the library. Someday I will return to them when I have hours of time to waste under a tree with a blanket and steaming hot tea, and no dirty dishes to wash..

home depot

Endless possibility's await the imagination at home depot. Even children are in awe of the rows and rows of lights, sinks, washer and dryer sets, cook stoves and many other home improvement eye candy. If that isn't good enough the isles are big enough for an elephant to stampede through. I thought I would share some snapshots of one of our first adventure through the handy mans mecca.

beached

a couple of weeks ago city girl, Karin and I hit the beach with the kids in tow. The sun was shining and it happened not to be terribly windy for a change. My kids are all three and up now, so things are amazingly fun and easy that had not been a year ago. For instance back then the beach was fun, but also work. My youngest would take off if he knew you didn't have the ability to catch up with him and the older two would lose interest in the sand and spend the whole time begging to get into the ocean. These days life is full of different battles but one I am done fighting for now is the constant jumping up and chasing my children. I still do from time to time, the difference is its not ALL the time. We three adults and three children played and ran on the beach until the clock told on our fun. We left a dam on a stream for the next visitors to improve upon.

american geriatric

oh for shame.
If the super bowl wasn't bad enough we have to now suffer through people older than my parents prancing on stage choking out lyrics to their songs they sung nearly 30 years ago. Poor KC of KC and the sunshine band kept looking to the teleprompter for help while shuffling from side to side thinking over each step he took. The first ex disco queen to sing left everyone in awe...and not in a good way. She was followed in a grandma wearing a kindergartner-cut-it dress. Its really a shame to see grandparents relive the glory days on national television. I give them one thing,...I don't think they needed any oxygen, unlike Mac Jagger before he hobbled onstage for the halftime show. I'm not sorry I stopped watching faithfully last year, not having a favorite makes the show more open for unbiased criticism (as if there is such a thing) With as bad as its been lately I might have to make it a weekly event. Last week miley ray expose' the nasal singer,...this week death by disco..next week??? I wait in angst

garden ga ga

Tons of hours later I'm closer to done (who is ever done???). Don't even ask why I neglected to put op a before picture. I only remember that when its in the during stage.

Sand topped with cinder blocks in rectangles then filled with dirt is the tiny start to a garden most grand. I'm so excited to put the starts I have into actual ground as opposed to having them confined in the seed boxes. The bragging rights to having a green thumb are defiantly not mine but a quiet satisfaction for the hard work is certainly a thing I can embrace. When I was small my parents read me the secret garden. In adulthood I went back and read it, because quite simply put, I missed it. The imagery sketched around the garden and how tremendously beautiful it was even in disrepair stamped itself on my soul. Lets hope I catch a glimpse of it this summer.

Today was another trip to the zoo...arent you just so surprised. The sunshine was 'pouring' as my daughter pointed out and the parking lot was packed. Our zoo friend for the day was Ivan. It was his turn because the last time we took a Dante' it was Hannah and poor Ivan stood at the door and bawled up a storm as we were driving away. At the time the vehicle I took was packed full of people and one was all I could carry. This time it was a bit different, but common sense told me it was his turn to leave and have an adventure to talk about. I couldn't have asked for more well behaved kids, my three and Ivan were the picture of preschool group perfection. I brought along a dog leash and everyone had a hand on it somewhere. The pace was slower than our usual 45 min tour, but It was refreshing to have abandoned the stroller and backpacks to freestyle with only kids to watch after. Unfortunately the friends I was meeting went opposite directions from us and we ended up only seeing each other in passing. After a 2 1/2 hours wandering around reading placks and teaching the kids we headed back to the car and ate our sandwitches. Ivan was rather hesitant about anything that looked creepy..aka bats, spiders, snakes,crocodiles frog...meerkats (not really sure what was up with that one) But loved the monkeys, elephants, giraffe, hippos(pleasantly awake for a change) and zebras. His favorite animals were the monkeys. My three loved all the bugs. Thomas informed me this trip was so much better than the last since we stopped at the bug zoo. The train ride was a great end to a fantastic day! hope your out enjoying the sunshine.

little blogger.

my girl is such a computer nerd...takes after her mum.

Quiltin' n things

This morning I was informed my grandmother is coming for a visit this next week...also my littlest boys birthday....also the Ladies spring get away....also the week our house gets moved into. I'm sooo glad for my sister who had the foresight to invite me to a writers conference the next weekend. Its a scheduled break from the chaos! Above is a picture of the most recent baby quilt I hope to see drug into the dirt and stained by the neighbor boy when he gets old enough. here's hoping!

heat hogs

Nancy poop face (the dog) and My daughter enjoyed a spot of sun together today. I couldnt resist snapping a pic of them cosidering Nancy is still so much bigger. My daughter weighs 34lbs while the dog is a whopping 120.

packing and cleaning

2 years of life were spent in our house and yesterday I underwent the daunting task of removing our things and cleaning. More than half of everything went to goodwill. Two car loads on top of everything else we had previously thrown out or sold. Sentimental knick knacks play a very small role in my life right now and though my heart was uneasy about a few objects which held special memories, my head told me a storage unit was simply out of the question. Two of my friends joined me and made the tossing easier. Nothing like crying over a sugar bowl with company watching. The fridge and kitchen are sparkling. As much as I have tried I cant help being a bit melancholy. Loaning out the house is harder for me than selling it. Its not a clean break. There is so much to organize and sort through before next Saturday and part of me doesn't want to let go. Our first house. *sigh* don't it beat all that the raspberries and herbs I planted when we moved are looking fantastic this year.
The presence of friends and family outweighs my deep sorrow for what we are leaving behind and I wish I could believe God has a better house waiting for us around the corner, but tonight it feels like I'm telling myself that just to make it work.

seeds

The thing about spring is new life! I have a fetish for seeds. This year I started early, now two weeks later I have precious little sprouts sticking out of the ground. Imagine 3 months from now when I have mature plants and a raised garden to boot. The local garden center has been calling my name, and with my stroller for sale on creigslist I have hope of a few bucks to spend on frivolous things..yarn and plants. My neighbor Decaff Addict just had her baby boy and brought him home from the hospital last night. He is very beautiful. No I'm not left wanting another...I'm just glad to be next door able to help out at a moments notice, I remember how crazy life was with my first and am glad to help make someone elses first a little less intimidating. The sun is hiding behind the clouds but it isn't raining so perhaps I will jump outside and start the preparations for more raised garden boxes!

the cause

I went to my doctors today and her size up of the situation on monday was I had an alergic reaction to somthing I ate. The reality of what I an impact my food alergies have on me is very real now that I had a brush with death. I have never lost conciousness before in my life and I dont ever want to have a repeat. My doctor gave me a new perscription for an epi pen of which I will carry with me always,...Never again city girl!

assignment overdue

I finished my speech at the historical society. The impact it made was seen in tearful eyes and haunted expressions. Orphan trains had been lost to many a history book until today. Moms journal ended suddenly. The last thing she had described was the way she felt walking into dindgy backstreet ally to face her future. The very last words she wrote were, 'The chill of the night was by no means a comparison to the icy welcome I received, my deformed features stood out all the more in the moonlight. If not for Sam they would have beat me and left me for dead. Who could ever love a girl as ugly as I.' The lump which resided itself in my chest the entire day emerged and I fell to the front steps with my face in my hands. I had to find her story. It could not be lost forever, I would find her somewhere in New York. I brushed the city dust from my business attire and did the unearthly thing of wiping my tears on my sleeve, I was setting out on a journey which could change my life.

no surprise

my assignment will be late this week,......as always.

best of days....worst of days

Yesterday City Girl and I decided to go out and visit our recently p0st pregnant friend and her new baby in the hospital.It was so familiar walking to the birthing unit and their room, I had two out of my own three there. They were surrounded..and I DO mean surrounded by family oohing and aahing over every little noise. She wins by far for amount of people visiting her. It makes my 25 look like child splay. The nipple Nazi (lactation consultant) came in about a half an hour after we did, a good time to exit right. We then shot out to barns and noble grabbed coffee and browsed books for a while. We did end up buying a few books, no surprise, but felt the late hour of the night and began to head back. The roads between the city and our town are barren of civilization. We chatted about babies, books, and non stressfull things. My night had been so relaxing but I began to notice a burning feeling in my throut like I was having allergy problems. Could the onion rings I gobbled down have had shrimp cooked with them? Who knew. I didn't have a benedryhl in sight and comforted myself with the fact it took me a long time to hit uncomfortable breathing stage from shellfish. I knew i would make it the 45 miles home until my body felt like it was shutting down. "pull over" I told city girl. "call 911" I said while experiencing the most horrible feeling rushing through my body. My heart began to beat heavily like I had just finished running (nope I wasn't hyperventilating either) Years of asthma problems have taught me to stay calm when I feel like I cant breathe. My body felt like it was shutting down. Then as suddenly as it came on, it disappeared and my pulse was normal though I still felt very odd. I told city girl to cancel the ambulance..they were coming an hour away anyway, and just drive me to the hospital. She was awesome!! I could tell she was freaking out inside, but externally she was a rock. She kept me in casual conversation as we drove quickly through snow and rain. The heart pounding blacking out episodes came on every so often. It was all I could do to stay conscious. I didn't want to let my self black out and leave her in the car alone. I txted Greg and told him I loved him. At this point my body felt like it couldn't take any more. The dull pain which occasionally arises in my chest during the day to day was now ever present. City girl walked me into the ER and that is where the trouble began. I collapsed into a wheel chair and a not so nice nurse named Marta took me back to a bed and began yelling at me to take off my coat and treating me like I could do it and I was faking this whole thing. I could barley speak, I felt so incredibly weak. The words came out slowly in response to her questions and she kept saying..."well I guess your not going to answer me!!! Get on the bed, You can do it yourself" I slurred out the words ' don't yell at me' and should have followed it with 'get me a new nurse' but I was bobbing in and out of consciousness. The doctor came in and took one look,..I kid you not...and said "oh you are just having a panic attack" The nerve!!!! doesn't he know I don't panic! I don't even cry except once every few months!!! oooohhh I was so mad and confused and frustrated. I still was having trouble forming thought and speaking. Greg had made it there by then and was calling the shots. The doc was just going to give me a sedative,...because with one look he was sure I had just been hyperventilating earlier (Of which I was not and had not been) and wanted to give me a sedative!!! Greg insisted they give me some tests on my heart at least and TRY to find an explanation. It was even worse when the nurse came back in and put an IV in and patted my hand like I was a baby and would have another panic attack from seeing the needle..All those who know me and the fact I have a giant tattoo on my back kn0w needles don't panic me either! all in all we spent 4-5 hours there while they ran tests on me to see if it was a heart attack. once they did that they were done with me. They didn't look at my throut, feel my glands, take my temp, give me oxygen, or do any normal ER procedures. They were so sure I was just over reacting to a day off with a friend and all that fun at B and N I must have had a panic attack on the way home. Today I am going to call my doctor and get to the bottom of it. Then I am going to call the better business people and tell them just what I think of That particular hospital. Thank you City Girl, your an amazing friend!

sugar rush

Often times I look at my three, I think..."these children look as if they suffer horribly from too much sugar." If I am thinking it, I know others might be thinking it also. The sad fact is they have a fairly steady diet of boring things containing very little sugar with the occasional cereal snack...my girls fave is cheerios. The three are just VERY active, and in truth have some if not all of the the symptoms of ADD.(d0nt you love living in a fallen world?) With that said picture the house full of Easter candy and two lovely grandparents of whom I tried (not very hard) to convince into giving the children Easter fruit.
The morning at church typically leaves me with a looming headache as it is, but this Sunday was Easter and every seat was full but the front. My normally quiet child decided to pull a Benedict Arnold on me and lay on the floor just out of reach while doing clearly naughty things and smiling to rub it in. I had hoped he could make it through singing at least but when he took his gum from his mouth and glued his fingers, I knew it was time to go. A normally overly caring and compassionate parent turned into a prison warden walking an inmate to solitary. He struggled, begged, bargained and apologized all the way to the nursery. I plopped his screaming self with a nursery worker and thanked God for free childcare. Another mother there smiled at me and I could tell she was very pleased it was MY child and not hers. No matter, it wasnt his typical behavior anyway. He wasn't scared, oh no, he was angry. I wont lie, I did want to go back and save him. Fortunately I have watched enough super nanny to hear Joe Frost whispering in my ear." He isn't hurt or scared. If you go back you will be telling him he has control. Walk upstairs and give him some time, he is safe." Sure enough I went down after service and there he was. He ran up to me and hugged my legs. "sorry mommy" he said. Just think if I would have 'rescued' him from a punishment he wouldn't have ever learned. After services we came home and they horked down their candy from City Girl and Poppie..My thought is if they ate it now I would be able to get rid of the rest later that night....hmmmmm...It was, shall we say, a huge miscalculation. They went higher...higher....higher... no crashing in sight. After everyone left from lunch they began to run laps and burst into tears at random. City girl was there to witness the chaos. Bed time wasn't any better. It took an hour at least for them to unwind. With that said I threw the rest of the candy out and vow never to allow so much in the house at a time again. An occasional sugar treat is okay, but next Easter the Easter bunny is going vegan...fruits and nuts!

eestaa!

No surprise to northwesterners up and down the coast, its raining this easter. Nothing makes you long for sunshine more than a celebration of eggs and bunnies. As miserable as torential down pour is in april, its a fitting rain. Today as a Christian I celebrate my freedom. The sacrifice and redemption culminate together to create a celebration not only of death, but eternal life. Being the pastors child, I have heard many a sermon preached on the importance of death and reserection. The ultimate price etc. Much of the times my ears, use to listening to the words, tune out and move on. Simular to the way my own children miss somthing I have said 10 times. The weather plays an important role to my listening today, like a mom claping her hands for attention. Today isnt about candy and stuffed animals its about Christs Diety, because He Is.

hog wild

My great friend Julie traded up. Yup she decided to go for a gleaming black harley instead of white. Its bigger too. The dash has a built in cd player included with all the extras. She was a happy harley mama when she drove up to see me yesterday! We sat and chatted about all the extras. She is so cute! cant get over it. did I mention she is the same age as my dad and happens to work for him? Or that she teached my girls sunday school class? he he. ah the secreat lives of secritarys :)

three part story

send them on a quest...Kristen told me this weeks assignment was a three part. Its very vague, my favorite! let the writers cramp begin!

somtimes you just have to snuggle

though the wash and dishes waiting
leave my workers heart debating
The warm bottom plopped upon my lap
can chage my mind in just a snap

We visited the zoo yesterday and ran errands. Its never quite as fun the next day when the three wake up cranky, sore and grumpy. But in the end the snuggles make it worthwhile!
heres hoping you have a great day too.

wanna hear the truth again??

I wounder if metamorphosis hurts? Is the butterfly afraid to open the cocoon because it has found having familiarity is more comfortable than change or perhaps that their wings wont open after all? Maybe he doesn't want to move on to another stage because the last one was so enjoyable. Eating and eating defiantly sounds like a nice thing to me! I have found myself in a chrysalis state. No matter how hard I look at what lies ahead, moving forward is scary. What if I like the stage I'm in? What if I wanted it to be a little longer? Just let me sit in this old cocoon a couple more years. No more. God laughed. "don't you trust me daughter? Don't you see what I have ahead is so much better than what you are leaving behind?" Its astounding how nature often times reflects Gods ever present hand. Butterflies need to break out of their chrysalis alone. If they have outside elements hurrying them up they wont be strong enough to fly and will die, If God forced me to move on, my heart would have broken, he didn't though. He did what he does best. He waited, Three years he waited. He let me whine and cry and beg...and waited. "Just help me out God, be my enabler..I don't need to change. Let me be. I cant ever be happier than I was!" Still and silent he waited. I'm ready now to live my life focused on the future ever thankful for the gift of flight given to me by my Father in Heaven.

Attendance please

So my sis in law convinced me to go to a writers conference..she practically drug me four yards through the mud by my hair....shouting obscenities...okay okay so not the last few things. I was wavering. I felt the urge to make up a legitimate excuse, lord knows I have a million, why I should save the cash and stay home doing nothing except watching the drier spin and imagining I am caught in a time warp, being sucked into another dimension. Whoops, did I just blog that! well my fingers have been known for exposing more of my personality than I might want them too. Apparently they knew I needed to get out and learn the schematics of putting thought onto page so when I wasn't using conscious thought they pushed the go for it button and here I am bound for writerhood in a matter of weeks. Think I could write a novel in 14 days?? :O)

My day change

Here was a typical day at the old house in OP.

get up at 6
make hot chocolate
make breackfast
start school
play
do a load of laundry
play
lunch
school
dishes
dinner
bed
mommy time

now its somthing like this

get up 5 ish (depending)
start laundry
turn chickens out(when I remember)
start dishes
make breackfast
start school
do dishes
swap laundry, fold, put away
start picking up house for vaccuming
movie for kids or books
vaccume
start lunch
swap laundry, fold, put away
feed kids
do dishes
finish house chores
play
work in yard
feed dogs (yes I have been feeding them dad..even if they day they are starving)
start dinner
do dishes
collect stray laundry
clean bathroom
blog?(weather depending)
brush dogs
greet parents with dinner
serve dinner
relax while somone else does dishes :)
take kids on a bike ride
finish up homework with daughter
put kids to bed
work out to tv
go to bed

sigh. I am really glad to be a help to my family. It makes me feel less like a kid moving back and more like a responsible adult here to do their part. It somtimes....okay alot of times irks me when people assume we are here messing up my parents house and taking advantage of them. When I moved out the last time people would come up to me and say...I bet your really buisy now that you moved out. No I couldnt let sleeping dogs lie, my hide was too sensative. I would reply...umm nooo I have so much time on my hands now that I dont take care of four adults and three kids. I only do 2 loads of laundry a day now. to that they would turn away. I never knew if they believed me or not but This time I am trying to let Gods grace make the conversations for me. In other words not replying.. its somthing I tell my daughter alot. "if you know you are right why are you fighting about it, its okay to let them be wrong." half the time I am lecturing..Its comming back and smacking me in the face!

friends without jobs

a nice adition to our daily lives here in the combined household is a good friend of mine who I grew up. His name is Matt and he recently lost his job because of the financial crisis. Most of the time I look on it as a horrible loss, but lets face the fact, its nice to have him around. City girl agrees with me. Whenever one of our husbands is lonly for guy time they call him up and voila he comes over. I do hope he starts his own buisness eventually but fur now its great!

frightfully late and not even proof read

Here it is, this weeks assignment. Again I am late and havnt proffed it...seems like a trend. Hope you enjoy!



My life was forgotten if not for the few souls who have read this last journal entry. So many years have past I myself have found it hard to recall the events in which I played the main character. Time has wasted away the frame work of memories only pen and paper might preserve.
September 13th 1914. My parents if you could call them that turned me out for lack of food and love for a child born with deformity, sending me on the orphan train bound to Michigan from New York. Not being theirs by birth, they found it more than easy to turn me over to the state. I fantasized about my real mother for years. Daydreaming her back to rescue me from the hollow life I was living. I was only one of hundreds shipped off to find what they called country life. At fourteen I stood only as tall as a seven year old. I had been born with a ‘hair lip’ which impeded my speech and not even the kindest person could call me pretty. Yet I boarded the train in hopeful curiosity of what was to be. Anything was better than what I was leaving.
A bud of hope arose in my chest as I listened into a conversation happening behind me.
“ I hear that its real nice” said a boy of 10.
“I hear they have big meals every night!” said a particularly hungry child.
“Do you think they will like me?” said the doll faced girl next to me. She winced when I turned to answer. Her wide blue eyes bulged in horror at the sight of me. I had been hiding next to the window for this very reason. “ They will like you” I slurred as the color entirely drained from her already porcelain face. Not bothering to give her a reassuring smile I turned back to the window and sunk a little further into the seat. ‘If they turn you down honey I don’t have a chance’ I thought to myself. The days end was fast approaching and no conversation was offered me so I obliged myself to sleep, the only place I was safe from the world.
I woke to find the train halted. A kindly looking woman who was much to fat for her dress was selecting some of the children to depart with her. Reaching to the floor, I grasped the warn red hat given to me before I was put on the train. I will never forget the advice which was attached to it.
“ pull this real low honey…no one will even notice your face…well child I wont be someone who lies to you! Mark my words you do have the homeliest look about you, lets hope they don’t open the package before taking it home eh” I had the face not even a mother could love. I fumblingly smashed it into place, letting my straggled hair cover everything else. The round figure bobbed to a stop at my row and to my surprise she called my name..
“Francis Harriet Marten?” It came out more like a question. Only someone who truly hated their child could think up such a horrendous name.
“Here” I mumbled while lifting my arm in a feeble wave.
She nodded and turned to the next row calling another. I grabbed my sack which contained my only earthly possession a small coin from England. I had found it when I was young and use to make up stories of my parents on days my guardian became less than friendly.
Seven of us stepped off the train to the welcoming arms of the farm families who were there to ‘adopt us’
I wished desperately to throw myself onto the tracks and have the train do its work rather than face what I had to.
Blue eyes was the first to go. A young mom was signing the papers with a sickeningly sweet look on her face. I wanted to puke. Three of the boys were went with an older gentlemen. I had so distracted myself that I was entirely unaware of the wrinkled woman prying me apart with her eyes.
“You there! Stand forward!” she barked. The hard grating sound of her voice startled me into posture.
“ Take your hat off girl,” she ordered again. I dared to meet her face and it matched the angry tone of her voice. The wrinkles on her face froze into a scowl as if she had been born with it. My hands felt numb as they reached for the only barrier I had against this woman.
“oh you will do, you ugly little brat. You should be glad I’m here today because no one else could stand the sight of you” The woman parted her lips in a satisfied grimace.
The words hit their mark, I knew she was right, but if this was my only hope my life was better spent tied to railroad tracks. That was the day I surprised even myself. It happened so quickly that I wasn’t even sure It was me.
I took one step forward and with all my might slugged her face. The wretched body attached to it flew onto the station floor. Shrieking and wailing followed “You evil disgusting girl, your going to die in jail by the time I’m done with you”
Several people had gathered and I knew that again she was right. Who would fight for such a hideous creature. I had to run.
I reeled around shoving the hat back on and clutching my coin. My mind caught up with my when I reached the tracks. A train back to NY was departing and if I ran I knew I could catch the caboose and return to more familiar streets. The shouting from behind urged me forward to what would the beginning of a very long journey.
It wasn’t quite dawn when the train pulled in. I had hid with the baggage and felt bruised from the trunks shifting onto me. Home was only a hop away and I ran. Tears streamed down my face burning streaks into the silt on my cheeks. I had never loved this shack more. My hand reached for the knob when I heard voices. It was my guardian mother. Her voice rose higher as she threw something into a wall.
“Mark my words, Sammy, It was her!”
“I don’t think she would have mint to harm someone” the voice of my house brother squeaked.
“ She had it in her alright, it says it here in the paper. Woman Dead, seeking suspect Francis Marten last seen on departing train to NY.” Another piece of furniture flew across the room “if she shows up here I’m turning her in. I never had any love for the child, and now I have reason to love her even less”
I had heard enough, I knew what she said was true but the way she said it hurt even more. My core was shaken. A sob escaped my misshapen mouth as I peeked through the broken window. Sammy had heard and looked over. His eyes spoke only pity with no betrayal. I decided to hide myself until my guardian left for work at the factory. Sammy would know what to do.
My belly gnawed at my insides. Not eating for 2 days made waiting seem longer. When the cost was clear I peeked my head around the door to see Sammy sitting with his head in his hands.
I hedged “ where should I go Sams?”
“did you really kill her?” he looked up imploringly.
“I guess so, I didn’t mean to, but I guess so”
“ While you were away I met these guys and” he paused “ I joined a gang”
“A gang Sams? Are you crazy?”
“crazy! I’m not the one who Killed a person!” he snapped his temper cooled and he continued. “ I could find you a place with us…I’m not staying here. Since you left mom has been drinking more. Hitting more.
It was only then I noticed his arms were purple blotches up and down.’…….
The crowded room before me was still hushed, anticipating me to read further. My mothers journal laid cracked open to the last few pages. A woman’s weary scrawl etched the worn pages. She had died a matter of months after writing this. It was a story she had never shared with me. My eyes welled up but I did not allow myself the luxury of crying. She was gone and I was here to share her story. I lifted my head determined to give to others the courage my mother had inspired in me.


my sister in laws version can be found athttp://www.kristenjoywilks.com/blog/

BTW

My daughter started a blog for her school work. Its a great way to 'trick' your child into spelling out words, and a great way to have a look at how they think! The txt is all her stuff so if at times it makes no sence...it wasnt ment to. have fun!




http://summeranddaisys.blogspot.com/

Join me now

Next weeks writing assignment is in story form
The topic is street gangs in the 20's
You will be writing about Franky, a 14 year old gang leader who is a girl. Don't over think or over research. The maximum word usage will be 500. Take the plunge write with us and I will post a link to your sight! assignment due on Tuesday :)

Finding Depth in a Shallow World

My sis in law decided our topic for the week would be depth in non deep media. I have put my own twist on it and is as follows. If you would like to read her rendition please click the link.http://www.kristenjoywilks.com/blog/

A Television show has recently caught my over annalist eye. Its called "lie to me" and follows the profession of detectives trained to read body and face cues to tell weather a person is lying or not. It is truly addictive and intriguing. When the expose the lyer they flash pictures of famous people on trial who were lying with the same body cues. (aka bill Clinton etc.) During the most recent episode the new girl in the office notices one of the older more experienced co workers being lied to by another employee. It was a simple lie, a cover for her failing marriage. An "im fine" The younger person is aghast that he didn't probe deeper considering he knew she wasn't telling the truth. He responded in a way most fitting to friendship. He said, when she wants to talk about it I will be more than happy to listen but until then I wont say anything. She can lie to me if she wants.
on occasion it is a BAD habit of mine to read deeply into a persons body language and mood indicators. Usually I'm not far off..but I am learning to let it go. Ocassionally when someone is mad or sad or hurt they need the space to work it out before they can face the world again...so there is my deep thought out of a shallow show. :) not my best but considering my youngest is shouting at me to let him out of the dog kennel he locked himself in and It took me a matter of 2 minutes to write it out...it turned out okay.

knitting projects finished!

This is the sweater for baby Dante' (I'm not choosing sides see by naming names) Newborn knitting is more fun than any thing else. I used a sock yarn for both and am happy with the results not to mention the fact my girl loved it.
This is the shirt I knitted for my girl. After I finished it off the naughty dog ran around the house with it in its mouth and my girl trailing close behind screaming.